Justice?

There are as many different behaviors and personality traits as there are people. Raising them from infant to adulthood with a one size fits all strategy would be doing them a great disservice. Not giving consequences for their actions is not teaching them how to handle life in the real world. Expecting to get love in return for giving love can be upsetting when it doesn't happen. Some people require a firmer hand than others. When you try to lovingly nurture a child and you get anger and rebellion in return, where is the justice in that?

Raising people is a learning experience for both parent and son or daughter. As a parent you have to figure out what each child needs  to feel loved and safe. You are also responsible for teaching them socially acceptable behavior. Because this isn't happening, this  is becoming  the age of entitlement and arrogance. I have seen it in pre-school all the way to high school. If a teacher makes a wrong move, in the child or parents opinion, then they could be sued and lose their job. The child could be purposely lying and the teacher loses their reputation and job. Where is the justice in that?

 More and more children are being diagnosed with one syndrome or another. Schools bend over backwards to make learning easier for these kids but they don't teach them how to accept or deal with conflict in the real world or workplace . Some can't hold a job because of this. Where is the justice for that child and their family?

I don't think there is one definitive answer to the question of how do you cope with injustice? Another word for justice is fair. Life just isn't fair but most kids and young adults can't accept that concept. Some act out their frustration over injustice with violence and many turn to drugs. Suicides seem to be on the rise with teens and tweens. They are bullied by arrogant entitled peers. Where is the justice?

Sometimes well meaning adults try to raise their children in a conflict free, consequence or punishment free environment. The reward system is used. That can work only up to a point. If there are no uncomfortable consequences to unacceptable and or violent behavior then that parent is enabling the behavior to flourish at home and in the outside world. If you love your kids, love them enough to not let to be a menace at home or out in public. Do wchat you need to do and make those tough decisions. Act justly. Show them and the public what justice looks like.

The following is a poem highlighting  my earlier experiences with a challenging child and young adult. It still holds true. It can be found in my book ," Poetic Scribbles."

Because I Care

By Marian M. Fay

Because I care I took you to school
Because I care I made sure you got the special classes you needed
Because I care I prepared your meals
Because I care I cleaned your clothes that we provided for you
Because I care I painted a rainbow mural on your wall with a boat, hot air balloon, and an airplane
Because I care I read to you at night so you could fall asleep
Because I care I took you to church so you would know God loves you
Because I care I took care of you when you were sick
Because I care I took you to the doctor and dentist
Because I care I took you to the hospital when it was needed
Because I care I made sure you got your prescribed medicines
Because I care I took you fishing and miniature golfing
Because I care I stayed overnight when you got your appendix out
Because I care I counseled you against illegal drugs
Because I care I wouldn't let you make terroristic threats and put you in Juvenile Hall
Because I care I made sure you got counseling
Because I care I called the police when your temper got out of control
Because I care I posted house rules
Because I care we kicked you out for breaking our contract stating, go to school and no pot.
Because I care we took you back and you went back to school
Because I care I made sure you were in the right high school
Because I care I got you a graduation gown for you to walk the stage for your diploma
Because I care I took you to have your knee looked at and then operated on
Because I care I helped you find customers for your cutlery sales
Because I care I stayed with your dad through his open heart surgery and rehab
Because I care I visited you in the hospital during your diabetes diagnoses
Because I care I wanted you to have good doctors
Because I care I picked up your prescription medications
Because I care I wouldn't let you harass, bully and demean your father and myself
Because I care I couldn't let you threaten us or worse
Because I care we had to eject you from the house
Because I care and so does dad you were urged to speak with Pastor
Because I care I explained the situation to Pastor and he said that “what I did was because I cared!”
Because I care every step you take towards taking responsibility for yourself makes me proud!
Because I cared I wrote this poem to make it perfectly clear to everyone I care!