My Earliest Happy Memories

You know if you force happy memories to mind
The dark ones slowly recede with time
Practice focusing on your past positives with persistance, this is key
The more you bring joy to light, the more the darkness flees

My earliest happy memory is of wearing a light blue puffy party dress
I remember smiling for a picture and being told to sit still, so I did my best
The picture shows me in a pointy party hat sitting behind a cake with three special candles
I remember feeling joy and excitement, it was the sitting still I couldn't easily handle

Another memory is that of my favorite toy, a yellow slinky dog
My yellow slinky dog made of plastic with painted on black ears could really jog
It jogged and jaggled, wiggled and jiggled and turned around in loops
I loved it more than my red hoola hoop
I pulled it through the house front to back and then front again
It disappeared one day I know not when

When playing outside I remember standing up on our swings and swinging
Both hands pulling on the chains , the swings to the back and front bringing
I was proud and happy way back when
I could use two hands for swinging my hoola hoop, but that was then

Later there was no hoola hooping or swing standing
Learning life anew using the strength of one arm was quite demanding
When I learned to swing again it was spirit freeing
Climbing up and using the glider while standing became so easy

I remember playing with my friend making pies and cakes out of mud and sand
Swimming pools out of mud that wouldn't hold water or stand
I roller skated in the house
I rode my trike in the cellar and no one groused

It's been challenging taking this abreviated trip back through time
Bittersweet memories of challenges and triumphs and their causes
My challenge is to remember my triumphs not my losses
I'll try not to dwell on the disappointing times
Although without them the wins won't know what their cost was

For now I choose to move towards the light
Darkness is still lurking, It's just out of sight
Am I kidding myself? Does reality bite?
Well maybe so, but for now trip the lights!